The Majestic Gecko
by Barry Rodriguez
Geckos are awesome. Look on just about any wall or ceiling in Cambodia and you will find geckos walking around. This is a good thing. Geckos eat mosquitoes. Evil, sadistic mosquitoes. So please, Mr. Gecko. Make yourself at home.
Here, for your learning pleasure, are 100% true facts about everyone’s favorite lizard:
• Gecko eyes are 350 times more sensitive to light than human eyes. They hate walking out of movie theaters in the middle of the day.
• Geckos are great climbers. Their footpads allow them to walk across ceilings with ease. Unfortunately, the superhero, Geckoman, never gained popularity due to a licensing conflict with an insurance company.
• Geckos can shed their tails to avoid predators, which is always a disappointment to the predator, since gecko tails are high in trans fats.
• Geckos have no eyelids. They clean their eyes by licking them. This works with humans, too. Give it a try!
• Geckos are the only type of lizard that communicates via chirping noises. This is primarily used as a mating call. Get a room, guys.
• Geckos don’t like making a mess. After shedding their skin, they eat it. The gecko motto: “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Which makes sense, since most geckos are Presbyterians.