Comments on: Where Are the Dudes?

By: Mary Ellen

Mary Ellen — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:12:06 +0000

As a woman, what can I do to encourage the men around me to step up?

By: Linda Znachko

Linda Znachko — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:58:43 +0000

Barry, I appreciate your charge to men to step it up and be more present in their service to the King. I also appreciate your charge to men to “be men”. Our culture mocks men and their manliness on primetime nightly, and we need to fight back with a biblical view of man created in the image of God, our creator.
Andrew, WOW, you sure put it out there…Jesus as a man. I respect that. I have thought about this all day and realized that we christians, are allowing the maleness of Christ to be stripped away and neutralized. The gender-neutral Bible is an example of this. I shutter when I read Rev. 22:18 and think that some of us are yeilding to the idea that God is either both male/female or neither all together.
Genesis 1:27 “So God created man is his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

By: Fiona L Cooper

Fiona L Cooper — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:28:09 +0000

This is something I’ve pondered for a long time in relation to missions. There are lots and lots of men involved in missions. Obviously. But there are far, far more women. I personally know lots and lots of married couples. And lots and lots of single women. Single men? Not one. Zero. Ninguno.

I agree with David’s comment above about the “life path” idea that men have, into which social justice/missions work doesn’t normally fit. However, that is not just a male issue. Women also have a “life path” idea which involves exactly the same components – college, career, marriage, kids…

The question is, why do women manage to break out of this pattern so much more often than men?

I think maybe more women hold onto the life path idea lightly, so that they are more willing to give it up when called to do so by God.

So the next question is, why do women find it easier to hold on to this idea lightly? Or why do men find it harder?

Is it because society’s expectations of them affect men more deeply?

Is it because men are more focused and determined with regard to their life path and so don’t hear or notice God calling them out of that into something new?

Is it because men are more emotionally vulnerable, where women are more emotionally resilient, and so more men actually need the support of a wife in order to cope with life in a different country, while more women can cope on their own? (that’s dodgy territory, I know, but it is something I wonder… )

I guess my biggest question is really this; is God actually calling some men, and they aren’t responding? Or is God really calling more women than men, for his own reasons and purposes?

By: David Byers

David Byers — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:47:33 +0000

I mentioned this to you Barry, but I will tell you all that our student ministries department has always had a HUGE imbalance between guys and girls. I agree strongly with your theories and would add that there is this ‘life path’ idea that is in guys’ brains of generally speaking how their life will play out. High school, summer breaks, college, career, girlfriend, wife, family etc….

What was never placed in this ‘life path’ for guys was spending time getting involved globally (or locally even) with social injustice. Unless they overlap, (career, summer breaks) there really seems for no place to fit it in. Of course not all guys operate this way, and not all girls operate opposite, but I think this says something about the hesitancy for males.

My point is I think that children (boys) should be raised with a healthy awareness of social injustice and responsibility to do something about it somewhere along the way on this ‘life path.’

By: rob

rob — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:53:23 +0000

Excellent Bar! Yeah Dave, I’m all ears on this one and I LOVE Barry’s idea of creating a movement title something like the Justice League – moving men into social justice.
As we develop teams to head out to Mississippi and overseas, we often find the teams a bit weighted on the female side (but not always!). When we do it simply takes an intentional effort on our part to invite men into the adventure. What do we find? They respond and step up to the challenge. I wonder if this reflects a general male passivity and life of distraction? I also wonder if the response to the invitation reflects the desire to be invited into adventure and invited out of need.

By: Saskia

Saskia — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 18:28:49 +0000

It’s too bad men aren’t stepping up to the plate. It’s also too bad that men aren’t stepping up to the plate and while they’re doing that, are also (though not in a connected process) relegating women to the backseat in terms of power, voice, and decision making opportunities. This way the hypothetical orphans miss out twice.

By: Curtis Honeycutt

Curtis Honeycutt — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 15:37:13 +0000

I’ve definitely experienced this. I was vice president of my high school’s Key Club. I called it “girl club”, because I was literally the only guy out of about 50 members. I would invite my guy friends to get involved, but they didn’t care.

I think the problem is guys who are college-aged to pre-family stage of life care about themselves almost exclusively.

There are DEFINITELY outliers…guys who don’t fit the mold, but, in general, guys don’t care about anyone who doesn’t further their own interests.

By: Andrew Znachko

Andrew Znachko — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:37:28 +0000

Dave, if I can respond to your question about re-envisoning our young guys, I know what has changed my life. I have independence wired inside of me, a need and desire for it and a fulfillment when I experience it. God has given me my independence in that I can choose whether I believe who He is or I don’t. By choosing to believe He is who He says that He is and who He is as shown through the Bible and life experience I have excersised my independence. That lead to crashing down on the realization that I am in desperate need of Him and that this life is best lived when I get my flesh out of His way for Him to do His work. Jesus moved when he felt the Father pushing Him, He spoke when the Father had something to say, He went when the Father said go and all of that lead to the most raw and manly life that has been lived.

By: Dave Rod

Dave Rod — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 19:46:20 +0000

OK…so wow…Bar’ you hit a real nerve here. I agree with Andrew that it is harsh but certainly full of truth.

And how about Jo’s insight that “dudes” seem to be the ones most identified with injustices. What a double whammy!

And I have to ask, as Andrew posited, if indeed the church has perpetuated the “dudeless” problem. Hmmmm. How do we re-envison our young guys?

So…let’s keep this conversation going. Hey Rob…you out there? What do you think?

By: Sharon

Sharon — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:46:36 +0000

Great article, Barry. Much food for thought. I’ve been mulling this over since yesterday morning and I don’t have any real answers. However, I don’t necessarily think this is a new thing. When I think back being a kid on the mission field, there were missionary couples and families, of course, but there were also lots of single women. There may have been a few, but I can’t remember any single men on our field. Interesting…